hey everyone (cuz i'm sure my readership is SO vast)
just wanted to let you all know that i've relocated to wordpress. i needed a change...so i changed. also it gave me something to do while i've been sitting around bored at home :)
the new website is: jesseelisabeth.wordpress.com
come see me there!
TTFN!
31.5.10
25.5.10
.the end?.
And so an era ends. I've graduated from college and have been thrust into the real world. Strange....so strange.
I don't want to make this too sappy or depressing, but I've been in a reflective mood lately so I decided it was time for another post.
The last three years have been quite the adventure. I've absolutely loved just about everything about Taylor-- the people, the activities, the dorm life, the classes-- maybe not the homework, but just about everything else. Sure it's been hard sometimes and many moments have been full of frustration, anger, tears and more. But the pain and tough times have more than been worth it for the friendships, laughter and incredible memories. I'm super grateful for that season in my life and the people I shared it with.
But if I've learned anything in my life, it's that change happens. It's inevitable. Just because you've found something good and you wish it would last forever, doesn't mean it will. In fact, it most likely means it won't. But I've also learned that change is the best way to grow. It's not easy, but since when is growth easy? there's a reason there's such a thing as "growing pains." That's how I see the changes in my life. Sure it hurts like hell sometimes, but I'd rather deal with the pain than stay a toddler my entire life and never experience...well...anything. So I've chosen to love, to live, to laugh...to feel. And I've been the better for it.
One of the senior blocks at the theatre quotes Job 23, saying "When he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." This struck me when I actually read it instead of walking past it that life so often works this way. Fire hurts...ask any kid who sticks their hand in it cuz "it's pretty!" But fire refines gold and makes it worth much more-- makes it more perfect. 1 Peter 1:15 tells us that we are to be perfect as our Father is perfect. And I think that there's no better way to grow than to have to trust God in the midst of change.
So I say...bring on the fire!
I don't want to make this too sappy or depressing, but I've been in a reflective mood lately so I decided it was time for another post.
The last three years have been quite the adventure. I've absolutely loved just about everything about Taylor-- the people, the activities, the dorm life, the classes-- maybe not the homework, but just about everything else. Sure it's been hard sometimes and many moments have been full of frustration, anger, tears and more. But the pain and tough times have more than been worth it for the friendships, laughter and incredible memories. I'm super grateful for that season in my life and the people I shared it with.
But if I've learned anything in my life, it's that change happens. It's inevitable. Just because you've found something good and you wish it would last forever, doesn't mean it will. In fact, it most likely means it won't. But I've also learned that change is the best way to grow. It's not easy, but since when is growth easy? there's a reason there's such a thing as "growing pains." That's how I see the changes in my life. Sure it hurts like hell sometimes, but I'd rather deal with the pain than stay a toddler my entire life and never experience...well...anything. So I've chosen to love, to live, to laugh...to feel. And I've been the better for it.
One of the senior blocks at the theatre quotes Job 23, saying "When he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." This struck me when I actually read it instead of walking past it that life so often works this way. Fire hurts...ask any kid who sticks their hand in it cuz "it's pretty!" But fire refines gold and makes it worth much more-- makes it more perfect. 1 Peter 1:15 tells us that we are to be perfect as our Father is perfect. And I think that there's no better way to grow than to have to trust God in the midst of change.
So I say...bring on the fire!
14.5.10
.footprints.
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”
Tonight I got to spend time with many people who have left footprints on my life. We all dressed up and enjoyed being fancy for a while. We smiled and took lots of pictures. We made a few last memories to add to the vast number of already existing ones. And I guess it was a good time.
But one of those people wasn't there. Unforeseen circumstances kept her away from an event that I know she would never have missed if she'd been given the choice. And she was sorely missed, by me and by others. It's hard to reflect on the past and to enjoy the memories with the people in them, when a person so significant is missing.
I was given an award tonight that could have gone to a number of people in that room. There is so much work that goes into that theater that doesn't come from me. But I was more than honored, albeit surprised, to have received it. I was grateful, but a part of me didn't want to accept it. It was supposed to come from her. She was supposed to be there. None of the blood, sweat, and tears that I offered up would have been useful or deserved if it weren't for her.
I don't know where my opening quote came from, but there's a lot of truth in it. Some people are in our lives for a season and then leave, passing quickly through. But others stay for a while, and take time to invest in us, and they are the ones who leave footprints on our hearts. They are the ones that we miss when we leave, the ones we seek to replace but never really can.
She was one of them.
Sure, tonight was great. Sure, it was fun. But it was incomplete. Because, more than any award, it is her friendship, wisdom, and love for which I am grateful.
Tonight I got to spend time with many people who have left footprints on my life. We all dressed up and enjoyed being fancy for a while. We smiled and took lots of pictures. We made a few last memories to add to the vast number of already existing ones. And I guess it was a good time.
But one of those people wasn't there. Unforeseen circumstances kept her away from an event that I know she would never have missed if she'd been given the choice. And she was sorely missed, by me and by others. It's hard to reflect on the past and to enjoy the memories with the people in them, when a person so significant is missing.
I was given an award tonight that could have gone to a number of people in that room. There is so much work that goes into that theater that doesn't come from me. But I was more than honored, albeit surprised, to have received it. I was grateful, but a part of me didn't want to accept it. It was supposed to come from her. She was supposed to be there. None of the blood, sweat, and tears that I offered up would have been useful or deserved if it weren't for her.
I don't know where my opening quote came from, but there's a lot of truth in it. Some people are in our lives for a season and then leave, passing quickly through. But others stay for a while, and take time to invest in us, and they are the ones who leave footprints on our hearts. They are the ones that we miss when we leave, the ones we seek to replace but never really can.
She was one of them.
Sure, tonight was great. Sure, it was fun. But it was incomplete. Because, more than any award, it is her friendship, wisdom, and love for which I am grateful.
23.9.09
.youth.
I hate it when my stupid pride gets in the way of me hearing what I need to hear.
I grew up in the church. I grew up a pastor's kid and a missionary kid. I went to christian school for seven years. And I'm a christian education and bible double major. I like to think that when it comes to the Bible, I've got it down pat pretty well.
But oh how that's not true at all. Somewhere deep down inside, my knowledge tells me I can never know everything. A few days ago, I was quite worried about a very good friend who is having health problems. Not just "haphazard, slightly preoccupied" worried. I was scared. Real scared. It was all I could think about and I had pretty much completely lost focus.
A friend of mine recognized this problem and decided to fix it. She sat me down in the hallway and read me Psalm 23, emphasizing verse 4: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil, for you are with me." And it was so simple but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
But my filthy stupid pride wouldn't let me hear it. You know why? Because my friend is a freshman. And one who had been a part of the Christian world far less than I have. And I wanted to think I knew better.
I don't know exactly when I came to my senses but the voice of youthful wisdom eventually broke through my idiocy and i realized:
A. she was right.
B. I do not have it as together as I pretend I do
C. this freshman is far stronger and wiser than I will ever be
It's so like God to remind me that He'll be with me through the valley and smash my pride to bits at the same time, isn't it?
Oh...and to you, dear young one.....thank you.
I grew up in the church. I grew up a pastor's kid and a missionary kid. I went to christian school for seven years. And I'm a christian education and bible double major. I like to think that when it comes to the Bible, I've got it down pat pretty well.
But oh how that's not true at all. Somewhere deep down inside, my knowledge tells me I can never know everything. A few days ago, I was quite worried about a very good friend who is having health problems. Not just "haphazard, slightly preoccupied" worried. I was scared. Real scared. It was all I could think about and I had pretty much completely lost focus.
A friend of mine recognized this problem and decided to fix it. She sat me down in the hallway and read me Psalm 23, emphasizing verse 4: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil, for you are with me." And it was so simple but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
But my filthy stupid pride wouldn't let me hear it. You know why? Because my friend is a freshman. And one who had been a part of the Christian world far less than I have. And I wanted to think I knew better.
I don't know exactly when I came to my senses but the voice of youthful wisdom eventually broke through my idiocy and i realized:
A. she was right.
B. I do not have it as together as I pretend I do
C. this freshman is far stronger and wiser than I will ever be
It's so like God to remind me that He'll be with me through the valley and smash my pride to bits at the same time, isn't it?
Oh...and to you, dear young one.....thank you.
17.9.09
.disappointed.
How does one deal with disappointment?
Some get angry. Some get bitter. Some stuff it away to fester. And some simply give up trying. For good. Somehow none of these seem like great alternatives. But the advice often given to "just get over it" doesn't seem to adequately address the problem. Disappointment runs too deep to just "get over."with it come self-doubt, frustration, and hopelessness-- and you don't just get over those. You deal with them, most often extensively. And you know what--it's normal. Those things are going to come every now and again. But where on earth can we let these emotions take us, where we don't fall into destructive patterns of thinking?
Yesterday, a church billboard guided me to 1 Thessalonians 5:18-- "in everything, give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." So...through your disappointment-- give thanks. Through your self-doubt and frustration-- give thanks. Through your hopelessness-- give thanks. But why?
Well, not only are we commanded to do so, but also we are assured that "tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint." And there we come full circle-- the disappointment is vanquished and we are the better for it.
So the solution to the raging emotions that appear in the aftermath of disappointment...
...give thanks.
And never, ever, ever stop trying.
Some get angry. Some get bitter. Some stuff it away to fester. And some simply give up trying. For good. Somehow none of these seem like great alternatives. But the advice often given to "just get over it" doesn't seem to adequately address the problem. Disappointment runs too deep to just "get over."with it come self-doubt, frustration, and hopelessness-- and you don't just get over those. You deal with them, most often extensively. And you know what--it's normal. Those things are going to come every now and again. But where on earth can we let these emotions take us, where we don't fall into destructive patterns of thinking?
Yesterday, a church billboard guided me to 1 Thessalonians 5:18-- "in everything, give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." So...through your disappointment-- give thanks. Through your self-doubt and frustration-- give thanks. Through your hopelessness-- give thanks. But why?
Well, not only are we commanded to do so, but also we are assured that "tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint." And there we come full circle-- the disappointment is vanquished and we are the better for it.
So the solution to the raging emotions that appear in the aftermath of disappointment...
...give thanks.
And never, ever, ever stop trying.
1.6.09
.torn.
I have a love/hate relationship with distance: it loves me, and i hate it.
There is absolutely nowhere in this world that I can go, where I'm not very very far away from someone or some place I love dearly. "I miss you" and "I wish I was..." are a common occurrence in my conversations. And I hate that.
Not only do I hate the fact that my heart will always be in more than one place at once, but, more than that, I hate that I can never seem to focus solely on being exactly where I am. If I could truly live in the present and enjoy what I love about wherever I happen to be in that moment, I wouldn't need to miss, and I wouldn't need to wish.
But then again...isn't it the missing and wishing that makes the reunion that much sweeter?
I'm not sure.
All I know is that, regardless of the pros and cons, it hurts a lot to be so torn....
There is absolutely nowhere in this world that I can go, where I'm not very very far away from someone or some place I love dearly. "I miss you" and "I wish I was..." are a common occurrence in my conversations. And I hate that.
Not only do I hate the fact that my heart will always be in more than one place at once, but, more than that, I hate that I can never seem to focus solely on being exactly where I am. If I could truly live in the present and enjoy what I love about wherever I happen to be in that moment, I wouldn't need to miss, and I wouldn't need to wish.
But then again...isn't it the missing and wishing that makes the reunion that much sweeter?
I'm not sure.
All I know is that, regardless of the pros and cons, it hurts a lot to be so torn....
28.5.09
.home.
Wow. It's been quite a while. Life kind of took off second semester and didn't stop...well...till it was over. But now, I'm home. And it may be the last time.
When I first found out we were leaving, it hurt. A lot. I was shocked, blindsided...it was so completely unexpected. That weekend was hard. But I was OK. I was with friends...and went back to friends...and they were just what I needed when I needed them. Every once in a while it would hit again that home wasn't going to be home anymore...and the pain and grief would flood back and I would mourn the loss of the ties to my childhood once more.
And then I got here. And my bed was buried in boxes, and our apartment was one huge garage sale. My books were sold or boxed, our furniture was sold or given away, our decorations were all off the walls....everything was different. We'll be going into Paris one last time before I leave....so I can say good-bye to the city of lights for...well... a while. We'll see how that goes.
But I've realized since I've been here, that though this country--and this city--holds a lot of memories and pieces of my heart, I'm ok with it just being a part of my life. It's been great--I've loved it here. But I'm a Taylor-ite now...and for at least another year...that has to be home. Life goes on and I think it's ok that home moves around. It's not easy to have my heart in so many places, but it has made (and makes) my life that much richer.
On the bright side of this move, my family will be closer than 6 hours from me-- and on the same continent--which hasn't happened basically since I was 10 years old. I'll see my brothers and my parents and we can kind of be a normal family again. And maybe there's something awesome that I can't even imagine about living in Perrysburg, OH. I mean...we ARE only an hour and a half from Cedar Point. That's gotta be good for SOMETHING right?
So for now, I'll enjoy my time home, and my last visit to my old stomping grounds (good ol BFA) while at the same time doing my best to look ahead and smile, knowing that God's got something great in store for my family...even if we have to live in.....Ohio :P
When I first found out we were leaving, it hurt. A lot. I was shocked, blindsided...it was so completely unexpected. That weekend was hard. But I was OK. I was with friends...and went back to friends...and they were just what I needed when I needed them. Every once in a while it would hit again that home wasn't going to be home anymore...and the pain and grief would flood back and I would mourn the loss of the ties to my childhood once more.
And then I got here. And my bed was buried in boxes, and our apartment was one huge garage sale. My books were sold or boxed, our furniture was sold or given away, our decorations were all off the walls....everything was different. We'll be going into Paris one last time before I leave....so I can say good-bye to the city of lights for...well... a while. We'll see how that goes.
But I've realized since I've been here, that though this country--and this city--holds a lot of memories and pieces of my heart, I'm ok with it just being a part of my life. It's been great--I've loved it here. But I'm a Taylor-ite now...and for at least another year...that has to be home. Life goes on and I think it's ok that home moves around. It's not easy to have my heart in so many places, but it has made (and makes) my life that much richer.
On the bright side of this move, my family will be closer than 6 hours from me-- and on the same continent--which hasn't happened basically since I was 10 years old. I'll see my brothers and my parents and we can kind of be a normal family again. And maybe there's something awesome that I can't even imagine about living in Perrysburg, OH. I mean...we ARE only an hour and a half from Cedar Point. That's gotta be good for SOMETHING right?
So for now, I'll enjoy my time home, and my last visit to my old stomping grounds (good ol BFA) while at the same time doing my best to look ahead and smile, knowing that God's got something great in store for my family...even if we have to live in.....Ohio :P
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