so i spent the past week at BFA...at which the past 7 years of my pre taylor life took place. and it was interesting....so very interesting...
on one hand, it was AMAZING to be back. it was just like going home after WAY too long. palmgarten dorm life: meals, pots and pans, computerizing, the porch swing, putting little ones to bed, etc... i fit right back in-- everyone knew who i was, why i was there, and where i belonged. even the new girls didn't find it weird that i was there and knew who they were. one told me "even tho i wasn't here last year, it still feels normal that you're here!" (thanks schenk :D) and another asked me to put her to bed (katey, you're great!). people passed me at school and it would take a second for them to realize that i was an abnormality....especially teachers. it was fabulous to be back again...
but on the other hand, i was now looking at BFA from the outside. as much as i told myself and others that i wasn't a "visitor", as an alumni, i'm no longer student, i'm not staff, and therefore am, technically, an outsider. i was able to step outside of what used to be my comfort zone and see both what makes BFA so great, and what makes it not always so great. it's always been hard for me to express why exactly BFA is so special, so unique, such a different experience. but i saw it...michele phoenix somehow managed to put words to it. but i was also exposed to those parts of BFA that could be improved, that are not all that they could be, and was reminded that nowhere is perfect. and i also felt a surprising lack of emotion at leaving...heck i still miss all those people like crazy. but it was good to find that i was no longer unhealthily attached to a place that is my past. sure it will always hold important memories-- many painful, but most beautiful. but i'm glad i was able to find my new "home" to be truly a new home. if that makes any sense.
ya know...it's really the people that make a place what it is. thank you SO much to all you at BFA who made my years there the amazing-ness that they were and who provided those memories that i will always cherish. and thank you as well to all you at Taylor who have helped it so quickly become a huge part of my life. i love you all!!!
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4 comments:
hey..
this sounds nice, sounds like you're doing well. really good to hear that you can still fit in with all your friends at bfa. that's sorta how it was for me in beijing. not entirely the same though cuz when i went back the first time most people were gone that i knew.
I understand how you feel -- it's a lot like when I come back to Taylor. You're right about people making the place -- the place means very little or nothing, but the people... without them, your world would be a lot different, n'est pas?
I'm glad you were able to have fun with people who are dear to you.
Forgot to sign that comment; it's from Elijah :)
C'etais tres bon que vous avez venu ici. Merci pour venir me regarder pendant le temps que j'ai joue le football. Tu ma inspire beaucoup. Je t'adore. Je t'aime! et Rachel dit qu'elle t'aime aussi. Je pense que tu es aimer :)! Pardon pour ma francais. Ma tete ne marche pas tres bien maintenant. Et je ne peux pas ecrire tres bien en francais! (Jessica)
Entrez-vous, sil-vous-plais! (Rachel)
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