.your turn.

wow.

these last two days were anything but what i expected.

that's probably cuz i expected them to be easy, to breeze right through them...48 hours of fun.

wow.

the end of any year at BFA is hard. ridiculously, tear-jerkingly, heart-wrenchingly hard. and after 7 of them, i know how much it hurts. and after last year, i know how mush it hurts to leave. it's not just leaving a place you grew up in, a place full of memories, a home. it's leaving people, friendships that mean more than anything, bonds comparable to none other, lives impacted in too many ways to count. and the hardest part about BFA is-- these goodbyes are most often very final, very terminal in nature. oh sure we'll all see each other in heaven some day. but as true as that is, it doesn't seem much comfort through bitter tears and last hugs.

and now that i know what leaving is like, how much pain one actually has to endure in one day, it killed me to watch people that i love with all my heart have to go through it themselves. i would rather go back and do it again myself, than watch them hurt. it was literally killing me. i didn't cry at my graduation. i cried today.

but as much as i want to fix things, i can't, and i shouldn't. it's a step they have to take, just like i did, and a barrier they'll have to learn to hurdle. it's a part of life, albeit a sucky one, but i know that i am stronger for it, and i can only pray that they will be too.

i know that very few people read this, but those of you that do, and are leaving, i want you to know that you are in my prayers. i know what you're going through, and i know it sucks, but i pray that you'll lean on the One who is constant and remember that you're never never alone. i also pray that you can move into the next phase of your life, while still cherishing the friendships and the memories of BFA. as my good friend yohan put it today (kind of) in his valedictorian speech: "remember, and race on"