.break-ing.

the title has somewhat of a double entendre intentionally.

firstly, it's fall break. i've only had one class since 2 on wednesday and it's been pretty great to feel little to no responsibility for much of anything. many many people are gone from the dorm and those of us who are still here pretty much reside in the lounge for these couple days. thanks to friday's ingenuity, we set up stadium seating by lofting couches in our lounge and had a mario kart tournament in the lounge last night. it was pretty spectacular. also a group of us had a bonfire down by Taylor Lake....als pretty good.

on the other hand, it's been a tough weekend. i've been dealing with this stupid recurrent headache and i've been attempting to pound out a 15-20 page paper on two Bible verses. it was a huge struggle at first but now (again thanks to friday and some to dr. smith) i've got the hang of it and it's just a matter of discipline. also, times when everyone gets to go home are always hard on me...if only cuz i can't. not for a long while. plus...it's a busy theater weekend and it's dawning on me now just how much needs to be done in three weeks. add to all of this just the normal goings on...relationships, issues, complications, life...and it hasn't been easy.

so i've been break-ing. but i've also, in a sense, been breaking.

and i'm learning that that's not always a bad thing.

either one.

.blessed.

content: desiring no more than what one has; satisfied

satisfy: to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs, or demands of a person, the mind, etc....

peace: freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc...

Matthew 5:6 - Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

I Timothy 6:6-7 - For godliness with contentment is great gain. For we bring nothing into this world and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.

Isaiah 54:10 - "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

These verses have been pretty huge for me these past couple days. There are a lot of things that i wish i could change about this year and about certain circumstances. And for a while i had been trying to fix them myself, even realizing that it was practically impossible. But recently, i've been learning the importance of contentment-- of finding full satisfaction in the person of God. I'm learning that if I hunger and thirst for God, he promises i will be satisfied. It's like the song says:

"All of [God] is more than enough for all of me"

It's definitely a huge struggle to be content. Though compared to many other people my life isn't all that bad, things could definitely be better. But I need to stop making efforts to rebuild bridges and patch holes and let the God of the universe be enough.

And I need to always keep in mind, as it says in the Isaiah passage above, no matter what happens, no matter how shaky the ground of life may seem, God in his compassion promises us peace-- his peace-- that will free my mind from the deluge of distractions and frustrations.

And so I continue to pray for contentment....satisfaction....and peace.....